Only Higher

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This week was tough.

Almost at the end of each day, i walked away from the office feeling a thumping headache brewing.

Some threw profanities at me and some went back to the needle in the arm after weeks of being clean.

Oh the perks of being a social worker, it is to be expected isn’t it? This is what i signed myself up for.

There is nothing like working so hard to improve the lives of others, and then feel like not much came out of it. It can be tiring and disheartening at times- well most of the time- but i’ve always been a giver.

Id lay at night in bed and think about the stress. The anxieties this job brings, even if self-care is mandatory. It still get’s you, don’t you worry about that.

But i love it. The job that is.

With such a demanding job, working alongside the disadvantaged, it makes me realise how important it is to have –good hearted– people in my life. I miss my papi throughout the day and i remind myself of the strengthening words he has whispered to me over time. You see, it’s so easy to feel down doing this sort of work. The people you surround yourself with are almost vital to your sanity and your next awaiting heart beat.

Love is everything, without seeing my dear love for 4 days straight, i felt the difference. I needed his cute smile, a kiss on the hand and to tell me that everything will be fine. I needed him to make me laugh and to forget about the realities of life. Oh how i missed him so much. Love, love is one precious thing that should never be taken lightly.

A good friend in my life is something that id like to have. Someone who genuinely loves me, and not just my company or my interests. A sisterhood, i shall call it. One day maybe, im sure.

But for now, i know the importance of choosing positive relationships. Poison just can’t do anything for me and i can’t do anything for it. I need people to inspire and uplift me to be me, and not apologise for it.

And i offer you the same.

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